i'm curious if you...

Daymn if I have to figure out wassup with with all this sugary-frosted cravings, I'll be dead by tomorrow. Prolly due to over-stressing my fragile brain that is coated by lotsa sugar.
*i'm not even making sense here myself. nevermind*

Why am I blabbering away???
*hold that thought for a sec*

Xmas is around the corner and normally this festive season gives me such a cheerful feeling. I have no idea why or even how do I explain this undescribable feeling.
So, anyway back to answering that Q - which could explain why the sudden amount of increasing candy canes, jelly beans, chocolates, & marshmallows in my house.

So if you want some to satisfy that sweeth tooth of yours, you know where to come =)

***

BTW, since ANTM 11 has ended and I've watched the finale (yes I know the winner already and I know some peeps who don't know - no worries; no spoiler here), I started watching BNTM out of random but then I quit after the 4th episode because it was boring!!!!!!!!! Nothing compared to ANTM. Bleurghhh...

Speaking of gorgeous girls and models and famous celebs & the likes of it, I've been wondering if anyone out there actually have this habit of checking out on same-sex icons and commenting over them and/or comparing them (their physical attributes), sorta oogling over them, or feel awkwardly jealous because they have the charms and the looks and the hotness but you don't.

It just struck me out of the blue when I saw a girl commenting over how pretty and gorgeous A popular & hot female model. Or maybe guys do that too???

Is it normal? Or is it sort of a fetish? Or an in-between state of sexual preferences?

Let's see:

We have here Chace Crawford & Milo Ventimiglia.
*girls, not your turn to feast your eyes upon this time*

THE GUYS!
Would you actually look at these photos and actually take into account whether they are hot (in your POV) or not? That you wish you had abs like that? Or that honey blond hair? Or deep set eyes? Or a rugged jaw?



And what about...

We have here Megan Fox & Adriana Lima. *guys! eyes up the eyes kay*

GIRLS!
Would you do the same as the above questions? Complementing their assets and what not. Comparing to yourself? Wishing to be like "her"?
.
.
.
I know, I know, people won't just come out right and admit if they do (if they do). Am not saying it's wrong. Just out of curiosity.

Because if yes, if the guys and girls do what I've said they would do, wouldn't that be one driving explanation as to why people look at beautiful people in the media and then have eating disorders to look as hot and slim?
(ya ya there are other reasons and explanations such as peer pressure and all but let's just keep the focus small & simple).

Or even why some would go to great lengths of cosmetic surgeries to look like...well...let's just say for instance...Jessica Alba or Brad Pitt?


P/s: focusing on the straights and not the in-betweens, those that go both ways or side ways here.

sex life boosted coz i met a doctor

"Your hearing is actually pretty good. Not 100% perfect but good enough. Roughly about 80%-90%, not to worry. But you have an infection in your nose and there's phlegm. This must be causing your ears the pressure and ringing problem as well as the headaches that come after that. The phlegm has also gone through your throat and sometimes might have gone into your lungs or stomach - causing bloated stomach at times..."

As the Doctor ramble away, thought were running through my mind.

"oh God, i'm so glad my ear is fine!!! PHEW. What a huge relief!!!!"


" However, your throat is pretty badly irritated and infected. It's very red with some bleeding that you may not notice. You have a sensitive throat"
-goes the Doctor again-

*sigh*
why do I always get these health problems. if it's not my head, it's my toes. if it's not my shoulder, it's my neck. If it's not my knee, it'd my eyes. If it's not my ear, it's my throat.

That was my visit to the Specialist the other day. He was a really really good Doc. One of the best I've encountered so far. Friendly and jovial. He gives really good explanation and all.

Here let me show you how he looks like:

Opps... oh not this one. Sorry. Got the wrong photo.

Oh not this one either. Gosh, you would think that the doctor could be so perfect and hot at the same time huh?

Sorry. Was fooling ya. No photo of the Doctor. And he's old enough to be my uncle. Although, he could pretty much be really charming when he was younger. Ya i think so.

So anyway, now I am on medication which I have to consume everyday for a week until I see him again for another check up. Popping pills in my mouth after meals and before going off to bed is not what I want but seriously, from the options that he mentioned - it sounded the best!!!

It's either medication and hope for the best that the infection will subside and continue to not exist and the fluid to vanish or it gets worst/no changed for the better and I have to prolly go for cleaning (don't know how it's done but don't wish to find out) or a minor operation of the nose.

EWWWW!!!! Please no operation. NO OPERATION!

This made me a lil flighty in my seat for a moment when he mentioned.

So, that is why I am such a GOOD GIRL ( oh c'mon I have always been one) and I'm taking my pills regularly like they are assorted candies that every lil kid dream for. Let's just hope it does it's trick and heal whatever is the problem. Too long to explain. That's the gist of it.



BUT!

The cheack up didn't just end like that.
OHHHH NOOOOOOOOOO...

Here I present you the FORBIDDEN FOOD (courtesy of Stephanie Wong) which I can NEVER consume as happily as I can for as long as I live.

• Too hot (heat) food or too cold food
• Too spicy food
• Oily food of any kind
• Fried stuff (moderately)
• No fried Chicken's fried skin!! (OMG I CAN CRY)
• Oranges, grapes, rambutan & durian (apparently gives lotsa phelgm and fluid) I don't really care about rambutans and durians bcz I don't like em' anyway.
  
• Teh Tarik ( ah don't care - I don't take it anyway)

Basically I can't just eat whatever I want happily without thinking whether it will cause me infection or irritation. =( boohoohoooooooohooooo

Oh and my latest new BEST FOOD FRIEND is HONEY
Yes I must consume a small amount of it everyday. Its good for almost anything.


Well, I don't mind that. Besides, research also indicates that honey is rated a 3 star for "PASSION POWER" hahahaha

It actually boosts your sex life. WTF


So if you start feeling like I'm getting way too horny these days - you'll know why LOL

when humans think ghosts & haunts are fun

Ooohhh boy! Someone has abandoned her blog and I wonder who that may be??? *looks to the left & right* *seem utterly clueless*

*shrugs*

I'm not gonna mention names here. =p

It's been busy busy busy. OMG ok la. I've been putting the *update blog* thought off a couple of days already. Why? Just because. But I shall give some excuses here: busy...busy...busy...lazy...no time...don't feel like it...too many things to say at 1 time so better not say today (lol)

(EH WTH!!!! Where got such people give such lame excuses!!!)

OK lets move on to Halloween photos before you start throwing tomatoes at me my blog & start a ketchup factory here. =D

I know it's been so long after but never mind. After all, sharing is caring. And who says we cannot ponder back huh?

I celebrated Halloween night with a bunch of friends at KDU college's Halloween Charity Night. Darren was part of the event. It was all in all a great night =)
Enough talking already. Here I bring you photos (mostly taken by Marvin) and look at how some people (or maybe they are not what we think they are) look like:

BTW, it was such a last minute thing that I didn't know what to wear so I ended up not wearing any costumes or what not to the event. But I was pretty much in black & white.


Quote from Amber: "Must cam whore after she make up!!!" This was at her house, waiting for the Twins.

I have to say the team did a great job in making this event happen. They had props and all for the decor & to make the place fit enough for the celebration. The entrance had a human made arch that refers to the gate to hell. Uber cool. No photo though. .Too bad! Haha

KDU students and maybe not in costumes...
From left: The phantom (eh I think I saw a girl as a phantom too), Magician, Cleopatra, Kiong Si & friend

She-devil (she's up to stg naugthy!!!), Joker, Mime(sexy lips dude) & Red Angel (love the wings!!!!)

Bride, What's this suppose to be?? (stg from StarWars isit?), Dead girl & strangled girl with a teddy, genie(love the outfit) & black angel

French Maid, Xena, Warrior from 300 & nurse, ghost haunting KDU & a hippie (peace yo)

Kiong Si & cleopatra with mermaid??, Male mime found female mime, Butterfly, cowgirl & Ms. Weirdo

belly dancer?? gypsy???, dead hip hoppers & schoolgirl, princess & dead guy killed while asleep (teehee...the wonders of my eyeshadows)

From top clockwise:
French Maid, SlipKnot, hurt patient & dead photographer, Friday the 13th, pirate, clown, gypsy, sexy nurse, Mr Muscles, she-devil & kiong si, another she-devil, goth & witch.

Us girls while watching performances...

There was a tarot reading at the corner.

Oh and a graveyard. Nice!!!

Amber, Adrian & Moi

She-devil & her mime!


Ohhhhhhhh...
What is it you're trying to tell us???


Hahahaha.... Darren forgot his eyeliner & eyeshadow!!! =p


Yeah we love the sexy devil! So naughty, someone should spank her! LOL



See if we could smile this happily if it were a real graveyard huh



Pose some more... the dead don't want you on their grounds please!!



US girls with Marvin before he died.
Ei, pyjama boi! Why you forgot to change your pants before coming to college? Sheesh...



And then he was murdered while asleep so he came haunting KDU


Darren the Emo. Finally he got his eyeshadow. Nuff la. No eyeliner.


A must to take a photo with joker. A great MC that night


With joker again. Why so serious???



Group shot


And the night was still young while the dancefloor was open...


See, even these ghosts know how to groove man!
Who says they don't know how to party after death...=)

And that was that. Also got loads of free stuff from the goodie bags.
Of course there was a haunted house as well la.

Sigh why don't that many people dress up scary anymore???

why I'm not your average nice girl

let me tell you s story of a girl i knew - deep down. she's very close to my heart but don't get me wrong; we're not more than just great friends.

life's bittersweet for everyone - whether everyone else can see it or not. AND this is exactly how life is for this girl. she's your average chick where she learns to breathe and live life as it comes to her everyday. But, when times get tough and things get rough - she has her rough side as her personal shield to protect her from getting hurt.

true to be told that sometimes, too much of an armor will eventually hurt oneself inside out. But what can she do, she needs to feel safe especially when there's no one to be there for protection.

see, everyone has pasts and everyone can get caught up in their past(so's this dear girl i know) whether they realize it or not. Realization can be therapeutic yet hurtful & traumatizing but there's help in it.

• once someone destroyed her self esteem by just a few lines of words that struck truth like an arrow right into the center of her heart. it was true but it was something she could not control because she was born with it. so, she gave her all to put up a very strong and cool exterior to protect herself from criticisms and painful remarks such as like that in order to not let past repeat itself.
  
• once life lessons came unexpectedly when she finds herself caught in a too-much drama, too-much complications, too-much stress secret that she still needs to live with until now. yes, now it is completely out from her system already as she learn and realize but side effects still exist deep down & the problem is no one knows about it except one - opening up is never going to be the same; trusting will never be the same again; stepping into a new one will never be easy again...

self-experiences is the source of the strong front she puts to shield the weak inside.

yes, now all the past is gone and never will cause her to get stuck in that dark dungeon anymore because it's not worth her time but regrets still hungover for the fact that these incidents has caused a few other past situations to become the ones that she did not want them to become - if only she gave up on being so caught up with the sources earlier.

that's why she is so afraid of the dark,
that's why she is smile-at-you-but-never-make-use-of-her-or-she'll bite back,
that's why she can be a bitch at times,
that's why she can be so secretive at things,
that's why she had this auto switch that may shut all of sudden,
that's why she is so random at times she doesn't think before she speaks,
that's why she is so strongly opinionated in certain things,
that's why she can knock you down & smack you right in the face (literally or not) when you cross the line,

do you know the girl that I know so closely about?
things will change from now...
***

am i trying to hard? is wanting to just be genuinely happy & fuss-free every morning i wake up so much to ask?

Mum: I'm 5! Me: =.=

12/09/08 was my Mum's **th birthday. yes! it was yesterday.
Let me tell you, the usual saying of females being very discreet with their birthday as they age a year older every year is downright almost 100% true. And my Mum is not excluded from this. She can be so childish at times that I can even forget how old is she already. LOL.

Kay kay, before you judge me. Let me clarify that I'm very bad with numbers. Not in a calculative sense per se but remembering numbers! I remember names better than numbers. But sometimes- somewhat sad to say - numbers that I do not wish to remember, I actually remember them clearly! Well, they say when something is so significant to you, you'll just remember. NOT that my Mum's age ain't significant to me but ... OKAY! I give up in clarifying and explaining myself.

Conclusion: I'm a horrible daughter...yada yada...punish me already.

Back to my point!!!!
So to confirm myself, I asked her how old is she now. She kept doing that "twinkle twinkle" gesture with her 5 fingers.

MEANING: MY MUM IS TRYING TO CONVINCE ME THAT SHE IS 5 YEARS OLD!!!

So I went:

"If you're 5 this year, I'm 1!"
(inside joke, if I explain any further, you'll find out how old is she - be a little sensitive for this lady =P )

Sorry honey, it's the rule of life. People grow older, not younger every year. If we were to grow younger every year, we'll start walking upside down.



Moving along, we brought her out for dinner (courtesy of Dad) to Milwaukee steakhouse to celebrate her growing old younger! ^^

Love the ambiance there but for a person who dislikes using flash when snapping photos - this lighting is not camera-friendly. WHATEVER! I still stubbornly stuck to no-flash mode. Hence, the not so nice & clear photos, except for a few later on.

Let me give you the gist of how it looks like:

All over the ceiling, star-shaped dim lights give a sensible vision for customers & workers alike.

Collectibles displayed nearby our table


Through the huge aquarium, we can see the glasses and pitches aligned. We drank from these.


The mini semi-cave-like deco with a small stream and a mini bridge at the far end. It was beside out table as well. Too bad no tiny fishes.
Kuno Erisha went ga-ga over fake ducks!!! =.=

After quite sometime of browsing the menu, we all made our order. Let me tell you that I'm NOT the one who had difficulty choosing what to eat here OK. I know I'm so indecisive most of the time but this time I knew what I felt like eating. It was the birthday baby that was so indecisive.
Now I know where I get the indecisive trait from!


From top left; going clockwise: Spaghetti Vongule (cooked with olive oil and clams), large orange juice, spaghetti marinara (seafood) with red sauce & small carrot juice.


Above is the regular fish & chips and below here is the photo of my marinara's single oyster.


Double view of my Mum's Baked Fillet of Fish with Mornay. (cheesssseeee) Me love this one!


Well, I hope mummy dearest had a great dinner and enjoyed the company of your family with you on your special day =)

Snap Snap time:



And after 3 times of trying to get a family photo with timer onset, the first attempt was by far the chosen one instead. =.=
My body very senget because after putting the camera on 10sec mode, i rushed and sat beside my sister just in time to smile and set hair nicely LOL

u, me, we = humans

Wed (1 something in the morning) - find myself sitting on the bed, by the window, staring into the darkness, unable to sleep. nose blocked & sore. eyes wet & sore. head like huge stones banging on it.

sometimes we humans wish that we can stop time when happiness is in existence
sometimes we humans wish that our eyes cannot produce tears
sometimes we humans wish we don't have a heart so we won't feel
sometimes we humans wish that emotions don't exist so we won't get hurt & feel the hurt
sometimes we humans wish only happy nursery rhymes are songs that we listen to in life
sometimes we humans wish that our lips can only curve up for a smile
sometimes we humans wish that we have weak memories to forget what we want to forget
sometimes we humans wish we would wake tomorrow and face a better day
sometimes we humans wish we don't have to wish for all that...

sometimes...

***
a lil update for the past few days:

• went back to my grandparents'. realized my grandmother is so much thinner than she used to be. so fragile. and that made me realized how long it has been since i took notice.
  

• one of my grandaunt just passed away. i've never seen her except once when i was really small. so i can't put a face when she is mentioned. it felt weird.

• heard something bad happened to my aunt in Aussie. she's a great person - so why did it happened to her? (if it really did)

• my sis got a new handphone. :envy: K850i. that girl and her luck

• oh but luck wasn't at her side when she found out she was selected for NS.
  

• i am determined to get my hands on my camera

• plans for tomorrow out with some friends got cancelled. :sigh: well, there's always another time. there better be! i miss u guys!!

• college schedule sucks. not that college has started yet. but will be soon. time flies. seriously, i will hate mondays even more than i already do.
  

• i feel like baking. i think i'm going crazy. yeah i probably am. havent had proper sleep for a week already. heads banging everyday. it's like a routine already i don't even bother.
  

• cousin said i'm thinner and asked if i'm stressed out. am i thinner? i don't think so.
  

P/S: mtv.com & mtv.ca is being a total bitch. i can't seem to get the 1st epi of season 4 The Hills to load properly. hence, i can't watch it yet. what a drag! been trying a couple of times already. lets just hope tomorrow it will work out...

night ya'll

i bitch, i confess, i breathe...

use your imagination and make your own title

There are a couple of random notes i want to "scribble" here because... well, do i actually need a reason to scribble in my blog?

• i've made up my mind about the previous post. yes i have. many would pretty much go: "Oh dear, why?" or probably think that i'm so ridiculously stupid that i don't deserve to even make the decision. what i can say is that i know "me" the most and i think it is the right decision to decline

• if emotions could be striped naked from me, i would deff do that and bottle them up tightly in a metal box where even if the world comes to an end, the box will never open up. that way, the term emotional wreck would not exist!

• my current fav word is NAFF! naff this naff that naff everywhere...

• i have what some would say a weird habit: i like my rambutans & grapes to be frozen before i consume em'. it's just the way i take em'. ohhh... and i don't eat durian. sue me

• dreams. do they mean something? what if i dreamt of myself running last night. running & running till i can't stop, climbing up staircase while i bleed everywhere. climbing to the top so i could jump down? and then all of a sudden; midway climbing i drop down on the steps - caught by a person who became my strength so i could stand up through all the pain and bleeding. interpret that.

• a good thing about staying at home is that money is saved!
  

• dancing & music has never been so therapeutic till recently. music is soul =)

• i have a vision that with the rate of the way the world is "heating" up right now, i think it is possible that someday, the time will come when men would walk around shirtless, probably only in their bermudas & women would be clad in bikinis where ever they are heading to... but i'm afraid that some would be a sight for sore eyes...

• who agrees to the winner of So Do You Think You Can Dance Malaysia Season 2? my verdict is: i don't care who wins actually.

• i hate Fridays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• is it me or is everyone going through a shitty Streamyx??? NAFF!!!!!!!!

• i'm heading to the Bijou Bazaar tomorrow! WOOT! u wanna join?
  

• it bugs me that national tv wishes to air international movies but always cut the scenes where the characters kiss. OMG!!! u gotta be kidding me. pffft.

• it still amazes me and leaves me questioning how 2 people can live with each other everyday "till death do they part" and still love each other as much as when they first laid eyes on each other. amazing ain't it. is there such a thing? we're all humans afterall...