why I'm not your average nice girl

Thursday, September 25

2 comments...(What do you have to say?)

let me tell you s story of a girl i knew - deep down. she's very close to my heart but don't get me wrong; we're not more than just great friends.

life's bittersweet for everyone - whether everyone else can see it or not. AND this is exactly how life is for this girl. she's your average chick where she learns to breathe and live life as it comes to her everyday. But, when times get tough and things get rough - she has her rough side as her personal shield to protect her from getting hurt.

true to be told that sometimes, too much of an armor will eventually hurt oneself inside out. But what can she do, she needs to feel safe especially when there's no one to be there for protection.

see, everyone has pasts and everyone can get caught up in their past(so's this dear girl i know) whether they realize it or not. Realization can be therapeutic yet hurtful & traumatizing but there's help in it.

  • once someone destroyed her self esteem by just a few lines of words that struck truth like an arrow right into the center of her heart. it was true but it was something she could not control because she was born with it. so, she gave her all to put up a very strong and cool exterior to protect herself from criticisms and painful remarks such as like that in order to not let past repeat itself.
  • once life lessons came unexpectedly when she finds herself caught in a too-much drama, too-much complications, too-much stress secret that she still needs to live with until now. yes, now it is completely out from her system already as she learn and realize but side effects still exist deep down & the problem is no one knows about it except one - opening up is never going to be the same; trusting will never be the same again; stepping into a new one will never be easy again...
self-experiences is the source of the strong front she puts to shield the weak inside.

yes, now all the past is gone and never will cause her to get stuck in that dark dungeon anymore because it's not worth her time but regrets still hungover for the fact that these incidents has caused a few other past situations to become the ones that she did not want them to become - if only she gave up on being so caught up with the sources earlier.

that's why she is so afraid of the dark,
that's why she is smile-at-you-but-never-make-use-of-her-or-she'll bite back,
that's why she can be a bitch at times,
that's why she can be so secretive at things,
that's why she had this auto switch that may shut all of sudden,
that's why she is so random at times she doesn't think before she speaks,
that's why she is so strongly opinionated in certain things,
that's why she can knock you down & smack you right in the face (literally or not) when you cross the line,

do you know the girl that I know so closely about?
things will change from now...

am i trying to hard? is wanting to just be genuinely happy & fuss-free every morning i wake up so much to ask?

Mum: I'm 5! Me: =.=

Saturday, September 13

4 comments...(What do you have to say?)

12/09/08 was my Mum's **th birthday. yes! it was yesterday.
Let me tell you, the usual saying of females being very discreet with their birthday as they age a year older every year is downright almost 100% true. And my Mum is not excluded from this. She can be so childish at times that I can even forget how old is she already. LOL.

Kay kay, before you judge me. Let me clarify that I'm very bad with numbers. Not in a calculative sense per se but remembering numbers! I remember names better than numbers. But sometimes- somewhat sad to say - numbers that I do not wish to remember, I actually remember them clearly! Well, they say when something is so significant to you, you'll just remember. NOT that my Mum's age ain't significant to me but ... OKAY! I give up in clarifying and explaining myself.

Conclusion: I'm a horrible daughter...yada yada...punish me already.

Back to my point!!!!
So to confirm myself, I asked her how old is she now. She kept doing that "twinkle twinkle" gesture with her 5 fingers.


So I went:

"If you're 5 this year, I'm 1!"
(inside joke, if I explain any further, you'll find out how old is she - be a little sensitive for this lady =P )

Sorry honey, it's the rule of life. People grow older, not younger every year. If we were to grow younger every year, we'll start walking upside down.

Moving along, we brought her out for dinner (courtesy of Dad) to Milwaukee steakhouse to celebrate her growing old younger! ^^

Love the ambiance there but for a person who dislikes using flash when snapping photos - this lighting is not camera-friendly. WHATEVER! I still stubbornly stuck to no-flash mode. Hence, the not so nice & clear photos, except for a few later on.

Let me give you the gist of how it looks like:

All over the ceiling, star-shaped dim lights give a sensible vision for customers & workers alike.

Collectibles displayed nearby our table

Through the huge aquarium, we can see the glasses and pitches aligned. We drank from these.

The mini semi-cave-like deco with a small stream and a mini bridge at the far end. It was beside out table as well. Too bad no tiny fishes.
Kuno Erisha went ga-ga over fake ducks!!! =.=

After quite sometime of browsing the menu, we all made our order. Let me tell you that I'm NOT the one who had difficulty choosing what to eat here OK. I know I'm so indecisive most of the time but this time I knew what I felt like eating. It was the birthday baby that was so indecisive.
Now I know where I get the indecisive trait from!

From top left; going clockwise: Spaghetti Vongule (cooked with olive oil and clams), large orange juice, spaghetti marinara (seafood) with red sauce & small carrot juice.

Above is the regular fish & chips and below here is the photo of my marinara's single oyster.

Double view of my Mum's Baked Fillet of Fish with Mornay. (cheesssseeee) Me love this one!

Well, I hope mummy dearest had a great dinner and enjoyed the company of your family with you on your special day =)

Snap Snap time:

And after 3 times of trying to get a family photo with timer onset, the first attempt was by far the chosen one instead. =.=
My body very senget because after putting the camera on 10sec mode, i rushed and sat beside my sister just in time to smile and set hair nicely LOL