u, me, we = humans

Wed (1 something in the morning) - find myself sitting on the bed, by the window, staring into the darkness, unable to sleep. nose blocked & sore. eyes wet & sore. head like huge stones banging on it.

sometimes we humans wish that we can stop time when happiness is in existence
sometimes we humans wish that our eyes cannot produce tears
sometimes we humans wish we don't have a heart so we won't feel
sometimes we humans wish that emotions don't exist so we won't get hurt & feel the hurt
sometimes we humans wish only happy nursery rhymes are songs that we listen to in life
sometimes we humans wish that our lips can only curve up for a smile
sometimes we humans wish that we have weak memories to forget what we want to forget
sometimes we humans wish we would wake tomorrow and face a better day
sometimes we humans wish we don't have to wish for all that...

sometimes...

***
a lil update for the past few days:

• went back to my grandparents'. realized my grandmother is so much thinner than she used to be. so fragile. and that made me realized how long it has been since i took notice.
  

• one of my grandaunt just passed away. i've never seen her except once when i was really small. so i can't put a face when she is mentioned. it felt weird.

• heard something bad happened to my aunt in Aussie. she's a great person - so why did it happened to her? (if it really did)

• my sis got a new handphone. :envy: K850i. that girl and her luck

• oh but luck wasn't at her side when she found out she was selected for NS.
  

• i am determined to get my hands on my camera

• plans for tomorrow out with some friends got cancelled. :sigh: well, there's always another time. there better be! i miss u guys!!

• college schedule sucks. not that college has started yet. but will be soon. time flies. seriously, i will hate mondays even more than i already do.
  

• i feel like baking. i think i'm going crazy. yeah i probably am. havent had proper sleep for a week already. heads banging everyday. it's like a routine already i don't even bother.
  

• cousin said i'm thinner and asked if i'm stressed out. am i thinner? i don't think so.
  

P/S: mtv.com & mtv.ca is being a total bitch. i can't seem to get the 1st epi of season 4 The Hills to load properly. hence, i can't watch it yet. what a drag! been trying a couple of times already. lets just hope tomorrow it will work out...

night ya'll

i bitch, i confess, i breathe...

use your imagination and make your own title

There are a couple of random notes i want to "scribble" here because... well, do i actually need a reason to scribble in my blog?

• i've made up my mind about the previous post. yes i have. many would pretty much go: "Oh dear, why?" or probably think that i'm so ridiculously stupid that i don't deserve to even make the decision. what i can say is that i know "me" the most and i think it is the right decision to decline

• if emotions could be striped naked from me, i would deff do that and bottle them up tightly in a metal box where even if the world comes to an end, the box will never open up. that way, the term emotional wreck would not exist!

• my current fav word is NAFF! naff this naff that naff everywhere...

• i have what some would say a weird habit: i like my rambutans & grapes to be frozen before i consume em'. it's just the way i take em'. ohhh... and i don't eat durian. sue me

• dreams. do they mean something? what if i dreamt of myself running last night. running & running till i can't stop, climbing up staircase while i bleed everywhere. climbing to the top so i could jump down? and then all of a sudden; midway climbing i drop down on the steps - caught by a person who became my strength so i could stand up through all the pain and bleeding. interpret that.

• a good thing about staying at home is that money is saved!
  

• dancing & music has never been so therapeutic till recently. music is soul =)

• i have a vision that with the rate of the way the world is "heating" up right now, i think it is possible that someday, the time will come when men would walk around shirtless, probably only in their bermudas & women would be clad in bikinis where ever they are heading to... but i'm afraid that some would be a sight for sore eyes...

• who agrees to the winner of So Do You Think You Can Dance Malaysia Season 2? my verdict is: i don't care who wins actually.

• i hate Fridays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• is it me or is everyone going through a shitty Streamyx??? NAFF!!!!!!!!

• i'm heading to the Bijou Bazaar tomorrow! WOOT! u wanna join?
  

• it bugs me that national tv wishes to air international movies but always cut the scenes where the characters kiss. OMG!!! u gotta be kidding me. pffft.

• it still amazes me and leaves me questioning how 2 people can live with each other everyday "till death do they part" and still love each other as much as when they first laid eyes on each other. amazing ain't it. is there such a thing? we're all humans afterall...